- Karen Ingalls
- My journey as a writer began as a child. I wrote poems and short stories which were my way of dealing with various life changing events. I am a member of Rave Reviews Book Club. Follow me on Twitter @KIngallsAuthor www.facebook.com/KarenIngalls, and you can find my books at www.amazon.com. My first book is Outshine: An Ovarian Cancer Memoir which received two awards. All proceeds are donated to gynecologic cancer research. My second book is a novel Novy's Son, about one man's attempt to find love and acceptance from his father. This is an all too common problem in our society. My third book, Davida: Model and Mistress of Augustus Saint-Gaudens is about the love affair between this great American sculptor and his model. ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT COPYRIGHT 2011 THROUGH 2017.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
MY MOTHER'S DAY GIFT
I am grateful to Cecilia Crandall for sharing her story about her daughter, Laura Crandall Brown, who had a rare and aggressive form of ovarian cancer. Mrs. Crandall is a member of the Speaker's Bureau for the Laura Crandall Brown Ovarian Cancer Foundation. She shares this most poignant story to help spread awareness of the signs and symptoms of this lesser known disease.
Looking back on my daughter's cancer journey, I know I can count on one hand, the number of times I saw Laura absolutely break down and cry during her fifteen month battle. Maybe she was being strong in front of me, just like I was trying to be so strong in front of her. I tried to not let her see my anguish and fear at not being able to "fix things" like Moms always do for their children. I would imagine myself in her shoes and think, "How does she do it?"
Laura began writing a journal during her journey. Reading through it lately has not only inspired me even more, but made me realize that Laura was preparing. It helped me to know what she was thinking and how she made it through those days, and yet she was not bitter. So I felt it appropriate to now share some of Laura's journal entries with other Mother's as my Mother's Day gift to you.
"Do I feel God gave me this to deal with for a plan or purpose? Not really.
I feel more like I got cancer and He was more like a parent there waiting
to support me. Strengthen me, but I don't think He gave me this.
I trust He is just taking care of me from above."
Laura made me realize just how important it is to try and stay positive in spite of what God has planned for us.
"I don't want people to pity me. Pity finds fault and spreads sadness like
disease. Rather I'd like to get positivity, fun, sense of humor. Let's share
that and we'll all feel better in the long run."
"I'm not trying to bring anyone down, hell we all know life is tough in
some personal way or another. No one is better or worse off, just
But, how we take it, process it, and push it out is what matters. And there is
no right answer or method, but we work on it. Thank you, instincts, thank
you for kicking in."
She reminded me to be thankful for all that we have and especially for our health.
"I am grateful to be on this earth today and look forward to tomorrow. I will
not take for granted all the love and beautiful things here on Earth. I continue
to thank God for my time here on earth, each and every day. I ask Him to
guide me in His will. I want to do His will. I do feel His peace and calm when
I tap in."
She continues to inspire me and all the work I do in her memory through her foundation.
"To think that your life can help to develop a cure is better than voting for a
presidential candidate that supports stem cell research. Better than donation.
My body is my tool for researching to help others. My fight is only one among
many. Today cancer is common. More people experience it than we know. We
are a club, a race all our own of medical roller coasters."
A few weeks before Laura died, she needed to be admitted to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Realizing she was receiving more blood than ever before, Laura began to cry and asked me to lie down next to her on the bed. We hugged and cried as Laura told me of her fears and desire to live through the upcoming holidays. "You are the best Mother on earth and I've been so fortunate to have had you as my mom," she said to me.
I treasure that memory
and those words
so much now,
but especially on Mother's Day every year.
WHAT A GIFT!
PLEASE support the Laura Crandall Brown Ovarian Cancer Foundation.