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My journey as a writer began as a child. I wrote poems and short stories which were my way of dealing with various life changing events. I am a member of Rave Reviews Book Club. Follow me on Twitter @KIngallsAuthor www.facebook.com/KarenIngalls, and you can find my books at www.amazon.com. My first book is Outshine: An Ovarian Cancer Memoir which received two awards. All proceeds are donated to gynecologic cancer research. My second book is a novel Novy's Son, about one man's attempt to find love and acceptance from his father. This is an all too common problem in our society. My third book, Davida: Model and Mistress of Augustus Saint-Gaudens is about the love affair between this great American sculptor and his model. ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT COPYRIGHT 2011 THROUGH 2017.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

RESISTANCE OR ACCEPTANCE

    Chaplain Bennett states "Resisting change leads to illness. Accepting change brings about 
                                              peace."

Whenever some kind of a change comes into our lives, we go through some level of grief.

                            Shock/Denial                 Anger                    Bargaining

                                          Depression                      Acceptance


Each of these levels will vary in intensity, length of time, and there is no particular order,
               
                    EXCEPT ACCEPTANCE IS THE LEVEL OF HIGHEST HEALTH.


When I was abused as a child, I went through four of the levels back and forth for many years,

                            UNTIL COUNSELING & ACCEPTING GOD'S LOVE
                                        HELPED ME TO REACH ACCEPTANCE
                                      FROM WHICH I HAVE NEVER WAVERED.


While going through a divorce I had many issues to deal with: financial, family dynamics, a move out of my home, a new relationship with friends, and a new identity as a single woman

                            ANGER AND DEPRESSION WERE MY MAIN EMOTIONS.
                                   COUNSELING AND KNOWING GOD'S LOVE
                                       HELPED ME TO COME TO ACCEPTANCE.

Cancer can bring a person "to his or her knees." It brought me to my knees in prayer and meditation.

                     I FLUCTUATED BETWEEN ANGER, DEPRESSION, AND ACCEPTANCE.
                            DENIAL & BARGAINING WERE ONLY FOR A FEW "MINUTES."
                               FAMILY, FRIENDS & GOD BROUGHT ME TO ACCEPTANCE.


                    To accept "I have cancer" was one of the healthiest things I did.

          The positivity of acceptance helps build the immune system, decrease any pain, increase blood flow, relax muscles, and spur the production of endorphins.

          A person is able to be exercise more, eat better, enjoy life's precious moments, smile, laugh and have a perspective of hope with the knowledge that

          "the beauty of the soul, the real me and the real you, outshines the effects of cancer...."
                         (Quote from Outshine: An Ovarian Cancer Memoir)
                                      www.outshineovariancancer.com

My deepest thanks to Georgia Hurst whose guest blog was well received. It was informative, personal, and came from her heart. Thank you, Georgia, for all you do to bring important information about Lynch syndrome to the public.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

In a book I read regularly about acoholism one of the principles says until I could accept my alcoholism I couldn't stay sober. This is so true, once I accepted my alcholism I have been able to stay. The sad thing is most alcoholics are unwilling to admit and then accept they are a alcoholics. That is why 90% of the alcoholic population dies from it's disease. I have to accept my alcoholism daily I can't stay sober on yesterdays acceptance. I also have to practice accepting life on lifes terms...if I don't I get agitated, restless, angry, self-pitying and irritable and then alcohol seems like a good idea. This is a contsant challenge for me as sometimes I don't like the way life unfolds. Thank you for this topic Karen, if it wasn't for acceptance I would eventually be drunk and dead. Today I get to be sober and most often serene and happy!!! God is Good!!!

Amy Ingalls

Anonymous said...

For me, acceptance is the most productive stage, the one in which I can move forward with problem solving, and the stage that allows me to enjoy what's going on around me.

Resistance is the lowest stage, the one in which all my energy is consumed
by self-arguing that takes me no where, really has me turning in circles, prevents
my reaching out and prevents new input from reaching me.

We have a choice, acceptance or resistance, about how we will be defined by cancer. To live my life is all I want. I found I can only do that with acceptance.

Christine

Karen Ingalls said...

Your words are powerful. We each have challenges that can be life-altering and you are an inspiration to me and to many others. To resist is actually harder because nothing is learned nor are there any positive outcomes. Thank you for sharing.

Karen Ingalls said...

Your observation about the differences between acceptance and resistance are so accurate. To accept that cancer is now a part of life is to take away its power over us. I want to be in control...to live my life...not be defeated by cancer.
Blessings to you, Christine.