About Me

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My journey as a writer began as a child. I wrote poems and short stories which were my way of dealing with various life changing events. I am a member of Rave Reviews Book Club. Follow me on Twitter @KIngallsAuthor www.facebook.com/KarenIngalls, and you can find my books at www.amazon.com. My first book is Outshine: An Ovarian Cancer Memoir which received two awards. All proceeds are donated to gynecologic cancer research. My second book is a novel Novy's Son, about one man's attempt to find love and acceptance from his father. This is an all too common problem in our society. My third book, Davida: Model and Mistress of Augustus Saint-Gaudens is about the love affair between this great American sculptor and his model. ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT COPYRIGHT 2011 THROUGH 2017.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

BUT YOU DON'T LOOK SICK

       Over the last 8 years people have said, "But you don't look sick." Even when I was in the depths of chemo and recovering from surgery, these were the words I heard.
                       
                                                           I then ask myself...

                                     Were they said from an honest observation?
                                     Were they meant to make me feel better?
                                     Or, what did these words really mean?

     Growing up I heard frightening descriptions of horrible pain, surgeries, and eventual deaths of relatives who had cancer. "Chemotherapy is toxic and will kill you." "There are no medications that can take away the pain from cancer." "People lose their hair and spend their whole time sick in the bed."

              ** Such descriptions are not healthy to hear at any time.
              **When I was told that I had ovarian cancer, these negative words came to mind.
              **Yet I was determined that I would face the chemo, pain, and hair loss with positivity.

    How does one live each day knowing they have or had cancer? I LIVE IT THE SAME AS BEFORE!
               **Except I live each moment to its fullest with gratefulness.
               **Now I appreciate the little things far more than I did before.
               **I am more assertive in making God a part of every thought, word, or action.

     Many of us with a serious illness do not look sick, while others do. Attitude and where we are in our treatment schedule has a lot to do with it.


     I read an article about how one young lady explained to her friends what it was like having lupus. Here is the link: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/


                              A lesson for those who are living a life of wellness:
  • Treat those with an illness the same as you did when they were healthy.
  • It is okay to ask questions such as "What is it like to have cancer, lupus, or other such disease?"
  • We do NOT need or want pity...that is destructive to everyone.
  • Laugh with us. It is the best medicine.
  • Cry with us. As tears flow out, love flows in.
  • Be honest and say, "I don't know what to say."
  • Be open and offer, "I am here if you want to talk about it."
  • "Let me know how I can help." 


THE POWER OF LOVING TOUCH IS IMMEASURABLE. PLEASE GIVE US HUGS, HOLD OUR HANDS, WRAP AN ARM AROUND OUR SHOULDER, PUT YOUR FACE NEXT TO OURS. 



2 comments:

Karen Ingalls said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The following is a comment from Susan Bennett:

Great blog Karen! Instead of saying “Let me know if you need help” I now say “Let me know if I can get you out of the house for lunch or if I can pick up anything from the grocery store” or something specific. I have never had a friend call out of the blue asking for help, but I have had them call and say, hey I’d love to go out to lunch or I need a dozen eggs if you are going to the store this week. Just my 2 cents worth!